Every
year, Mrs. Iris Pinder, the Director of Education for the Ministry of Education
of The Bahamas, gives a report on how the nation’s children
performed on the BJC and BGCSE examinations. Every year the 
letter
grade given to characterize the overall performance of Bahamian children is very
low.
The Director’s
Report is usually met with a barrage of criticism.
It provides lively and provocative discussions on the radio talk shows
where concerned citizens, politicians and parents alike, melt together in a
harsh chorus of lamentation over the failure of the educational system. These
public discussions usually delve into other facets of the educational
experience, such as the lack of discipline in the schools, poor teaching, school
violence, and the lack of after school programs to channel the students’
energies into more productive paths.
Indeed,
there are strong voices that cry that schools are not doing enough to solve the
issues facing the youth. They cry that schools are not doing enough to solve the
drug problem, to solve the gang problem, to solve the teen pregnancy problem or
to solve the problem of poor performance.
More and
more, our society has come to view schools as saviors for the nation’s lost
and drifting youth. Successive governments and civic organizations are pumping
more and more money and resources into the nation’s schools as if to say that
computers, sports and after-school programs will fix the many problems. Probably
with all these “things”, schools could do magic tricks and pull perfect
students out of their hats.
But, when we hear
the Director’s Report, when we hear about students attacking teachers and
parents attacking school administrators, we must conclude that schools in the
Bahamas are having serious problems. The question then, is, “are the problems
facing schools generated by the schools themselves or are these problems merely
symptomatic of a larger underlying problem; one that our society seems reluctant
to address as vigorously as it seems to put pressure on the schools?”
As
an educator, I feel that too many of us in this country have generally lost
sight of the importance of the home as the building block of society. And I
believe that, many of us as parents, have basically lost sight of the importance
of the home as our children’s first school. The whole society seems to be
under siege by its own youth because the home has become, for far too many, a
forgotten school.
Now before I go any further just
let me say that all schools have a responsibility to their students and that the
government and civic organizations are doing their best to render support to the
nation’s youths through the schools and other avenues. However,
the fact of the matter, as Jansen Trotman, a Certified Family Life Educator,
puts it, in an article entitled, “Lets Save the family”, in a recent
issue of the Messengers of Hope Magazine, “No nation, or society or church can
be any stronger than the families that comprise it. Strong homes and families
make strong societies. History has taught us that no nation can neglect the home
with impunity. The rise and fall of nations bear a clear relationship to the
attention or neglect given to the home.”
“If
force of arms and laws could have kept a nation or empire strong, then, ancient
Rome, under the Caesars, would never have been vanquished.” If
philosophy, scholarship and culture could have kept a nation or empire from
being defeated, then Greece with its Socrates, Plato and Aristotle would have
been everlasting.” What if our homes were given grades for how well we
train our children? Would our grades be any better than those given yearly in
the Director’s Report?
It
is said that truth is often time stranger than fiction. And it is interesting to
note that the 12 years of 180 six-hour days in elementary and secondary school
add up to 12,960 hours, of which, given incidentals such as tardiness,
inattentiveness, disruptions, non-instructional activities and absences, is only
13 percent of a child’s waking time during the first 18 years of life.
On-the-other-hand,
through the formative years until the end of high school, parents influence
either directly or indirectly 87 percent of a child’s waking time that is
spent outside the school including the child’s neighborhood, peer-group, and
other activities. This is by far the largest fraction of a child’s life and
denotes with confidence the importance of the home influence. Indeed, it
is a strange fact that society would become fixated with schools which influence
just 13 percent of a child’s waking time and seemingly turn a blind eye to the
home which influences 87 percent of a child’s waking time. But why is it
like this? Why isn’t more attention being placed on the home as an answer to
the problems facing our schools and our society? Could it be that the sheer
magnitude of the break down in the home is just too much to bear? Could it be
that the huge tide of family woes is so overwhelming that we just don’t know
where to start?
Well,
two things are for sure. The first being that a degree and a teacher’s
certificate are not nearly enough to deal with the great psychological labyrinth
that must be unraveled in many of our students before proper learning can even
begin to take place. Moreover, based on incidences occurring this school year
alone, it seems that the College of the Bahamas may need to consider adding a
self-defense component to its Teacher Education Program.
Secondly, we
cannot transfer parental responsibility to the school. God does not absolve
parents from their sacred duty to educate their children. Children must be
educated before they reach formal schools. They must be educated spiritually,
socially and intellectually in order to embrace the world of formal schooling.
For too many children, the only training they apparently receive before first
entering school is potty training. The rest is obviously up to the teacher.
As a Christian
educator, I am grateful to parents who take the time to train their children
rightly. These children don’t have to tell me that their parents have trained
them well, their characters testify eloquently of the time and effort that have
been placed into them. Ellen White, one of the pioneers of the
Seventh-day Adventist Church, stated over a hundred years ago that, “In His
wisdom the Lord has decreed that the home shall be the greatest of all
educational agencies. It is in the home that the education of the child is to
begin. Here with his parents as instructors, he is to learn the lessons that are
to guide him throughout life.”
Proverbs 22:6 states, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The operative word in this text is the word “TRAIN”. Training has to mostly be conscious, deliberate and well thought out. It takes planning and strategizing. It takes time, patience, commitment and a whole lot of love. Whether it is written or unwritten, every home should have a curriculum. It should have a plan to train the children and to shape their characters. The truth of the matter is that if we don’t plan for our children, someone else will. 1 Peter 5:8 says that we must, “Be sober and vigilant because our adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, is walking about, seeking whom he may devour.” This text underscores the fact that there are dangers facing our children and that those of us who are parents and who know the way, should take deliberate steps to ensure that the children do not fall prey to the adversary of their souls. Therefore, our homes should have some type of plan or curriculum, whether written or unwritten that should guide our efforts in training our children. It should help us to answer questions like:
I
would like to make a few suggestions that you may or may not be doing in your
own homes.
1. HOW
DO I TRAIN MY CHILD SPIRITUALLY? The
spiritual training of a child begins with the parents. In order to avoid the
blind leading the blind, parents must first be spiritually astute persons. The
child must be able to see that his parents value things of a spiritual nature.
He must see them reading and discussing the Bible, he must see them praying. He
must see them going to church and enjoying it.
Parents should
demonstrate in their community relationships the ideals that lend to proper
spiritual development of their children. For instance, they should be careful
not to park in spaces marked for the DISABLE, in a bid to nurture in the
children, sensitivity for others in the community. They should also avoid
littering while driving and should be honest when making customs declarations at
the airport. And so, if parents desire to develop in their children an
appreciation for things of a spiritual nature, they, themselves, must be
spiritually consistent, for nothing erodes a child’s spiritual energies faster
than hypocrisy.
Then, parents
should talk often about the goodness of God. They should share their testimonies
with the children. They should encourage the children to develop their own
prayer and devotional life. They should schedule set times for family worship at
least once per day.
2.
HOW DO I TRAIN MY CHILD SOCIALLY? Social
training begins with us as parents. The child must see in us evidences of the
social graces we wish to develop in her. If we want the child to be sweet and
loving, then we must be sweet and loving. If we want the child to be respectful
of authority, then we have to show evidence that we are respectful of authority.
If we want the child to learn how to resolve conflicts peacefully, then we must
demonstrate in our marriages and relationships how this should be done. If we
want the child to be forgiving, then we must be forgiving.
There
is a God-given tendency for parents to be protective of their children. However,
wise parents know that there are certain things their children must suffer in
order to learn how to endure challenges and to grow; they know that a child must
be exposed to her own fallibility whether that exposure comes from the school or
a neighbour. Blindly rushing in to defend a child may inadvertently solidify her
in her foolishness and plan the seeds for a worse generation to come. And so
wise parents know how to call a spade a spade, and they do so to ensure that
their children develop a realistic picture of this life. Parents
should monitor what their children watch on television, what kinds of music they
listen to, what kind of books they read, where they go and who their friends
are. This should be done from the earliest stages of training and parents should
not feel guilty for doing this; it is their job. Children expect it and
ultimately become insecure when it does not happen.
The
parent-child relationship should be friendly, but parents should not make the
mistake of relating to their children solely on the level of friends. As long as
you are your child’s friend, your child does not have a parent. Most images of
family life we see on television sitcoms are inconsistent with the realities of
healthy parent-child relationships. It is only when the child is looking
“up” that she acknowledges authority. When a child begins to look
“across” or “downward”, the authority of the person the child is
relating to is either in jeopardy or non-existent. The
way parents interact with their children can have wide reaching effects even in
the church.
In an article
written in the June 1994 issue of the Journal for the Scientific Study of
Religion, John Wilson and Darren Sherkat, having studied how family
relationships impact the church, concluded that, “ The strongest determinant
of apostasy in young people turned out to be relations with the parents.”
They went on to say that, “A warm and close relation to parents has a lasting
impact on young people. Children who were close to their parents while in high
school not only are less likely to rebel, but are more likely to return if they
do so.” Proper social graces and the ability to relate positively with
people is one of the greatest lessons a child can learn from her parents.
Manners are still taking people around the world.
3.
HOW DO I TRAIN A CHILD INTELLECTUALLY? Intellectual
training begins with the parents. If we want the child to develop a love for
reading, then he must see us reading and he must perceive that we enjoy it. It
is confusing for a child to always see his parents glued in front of the
television, but at the same time, be told to go and study his books and do his
homework. A study was done in Australia involving children who were
exceptional bright in order to find out what factors they all had in common. The
results of the study showed that the only thing all of the students had in
common was a love for reading.
Reading exercises
the mind and builds the imagination. There’s nothing known to man which can do
a better job of building a picture than the human mind. This is why if you were
to read a book then watch a movie made from that book, you’ll discover that
the book was far better than the movie. This speaks to the fact that there’s a
power to the mind that is only unleashed through reading.
Also, in
developing the intellectual potential our children, we should not supply the
answer to every question our children ask us. If they ask a question like,
“what is a lunar eclipse?” point them to an encyclopedia and show them how
to go about finding the answer. That way they’ll learn how to do research for
themselves and feel good for having the skills to do so. Another method of
intellectually stimulating a child is to help him to wonder. Nature walks or
vacations with an education component in it can provide exposure that will
deeply impress the child and broaden his mind.
The role we
play as parents is one that has eternal consequences. It is through the family
that the knowledge of God was to be propagated. In the book of Deuteronomy,
chapter 11:2-5, 18-21, Moses spells out to the Children of Israel the importance
of keeping the knowledge of God alive by sharing it with their children. He
said: “Don’t forget the experiences you’ve had with the Lord and
what you’ve learned about Him and about yourselves. You- not your children-
are the ones who saw the majesty and the power of the Lord and the great things
he has done, so you need to listen to what I’m telling you. You saw what
the Lord did to Pharaoh and to the land of Egypt.
You’re the
ones who saw these things, not your children. You saw what the Lord did for you
in the wilderness all along the way to this very day. So pass these things
on to your children and teach them what they’re all about. Tell them why these
things are important. Don’t take for granted that they’ll pick up the reason
for all this. Every chance you have to help them understand, whether it’s at
home, along the road, when they get up or before they go to bed, take advantage
of it. And if you have to, write them down and nail them on the
doors of your houses and on the gateposts of your yards so you won’t forget
what I’ve told you. If you stay close to the Lord and obey Him, you’ll
live a long and happy life and so will your children.”
In the context of the Great
Controversy, the fight between Christ and Satan, God has given us both the joys
and the sorrows of raising our children. This is a task from which we can never
be relieved. If more of us would take seriously the task of rightly training our
children, if we would see our homes as schools, then the whole nation would be
blessed.
Ellen White, in
the Adventist home, pages 182 and 183, said, “It is by the youth and children
of today that the future of society is to be determined, and what these youth
and children shall be depends upon the home. To the lack of right home training
may be traced the larger share of the disease and misery and crime that curse
humanity.” “If the home life were pure and true, if the children
who went forth from its care were prepared to meet life’s responsibilities and
dangers, what a change would be seen in the world.” In other
words, there is a solution to the problems facing schools in the Bahamas and
that solution is that we have to return to the embrace of the school in the
home. The government cannot do it and the schools are designed to operate on the
assumption that the children have received home training. We have to give
a greater account for the 87 percent of a child’s waking time that we as
parents influence. We have to go back to God’s original design for how
children are to be prepared to face life.
Of course no
matter how well a child is trained, he still has to make his own decisions. Yet,
the great preponderance of the evidence points to the fact that, all of the sex
and drugs and violence that have come to characterize our nation’s schools can
be greatly reduced, if not eliminated, if we would all remember the significance
of the home, if we would all remember the forgotten school.
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