- The following
articles were written to promote the positive activities of
men in our society. They may or may not reflect the
conduct of the Adventist Man.
- What do you think?
- The Golden Era of Virtuous Men
-
Celebrating the Year of the Adventist Man in the Bahamas
Conference
- By Barrington H. Brennen,
Family Ministries Director
- This Article was
originally published in 2002
Virtuous men? Wow!
Yes, we do have them. Is it surprising to say that many men are
certainly noble and gracious? While some of our men are being
captured by the vices of greed, power, and immoral behavior, and
while others have abandoned their responsibilities as fathers and
husbands, yet, we must pause to talk about those noble men who are
making a difference in the home, community, industry, government,
and the Church.
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"The gracious
truth is that more and more men in The Bahamas, the West
Indies, and around the world, are not afraid to change
traditional behaviors that in the past have divided homes,
destroyed marriages, and devastated children." |
Today I pause to present "grace," delicately seasoned with the
old-fashioned spice of truth. The gracious truth is that more
and more men in The Bahamas, the West Indies, and around the world,
are not afraid to change traditional behaviors that in the past have
divided homes, destroyed marriages, and devastated children. More
men are not afraid to ask the painful questions that would reveal
the tumors of mistrust, potential abuse, risky emotional
entanglements, and financial ruin. These men are quite aware that
without the painful truth, these tumors will, without a doubt,
become cancerous and soon metastasize through the entire family
structure, marriage life, and eventually the community. These are
the men who use their minds. These are the men who try to raise our
standard of living. Similarly, author Robert White writes about
great male thinkers of the past who transformed societies. He
states: "Not society. Not a nationalistic identity. Not a race. Not
a mindless human herd. Not a collective, but an individual. The men
who took on the responsibility of thinking, and thereby raised all
of humanity from the drudgery of mere survival to the opulence of an
affluent civilization."
Virtuous men are not
afraid to think. They have a passion for searching truth, no
matter how painful. When the majority of our men fall in the pit of
corruption, a few act differently. They do not expect the majority
to agree. They do not expect nation-wide support. But one by one,
they make a difference. As a small piece of Bahamian crab grass
gradually covers a hungry ground of rich Bahamian soil, so will this
small, yet tenacious group of noble Bahamian male thinkers and doers
spread throughout the sunny shores of this archipelago.
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"Congratulations
to those bold individuals who are ushering in this golden
era of virtuous men. They refuse to be slaves to tradition
and be puppets of power-hungry leaders." |
Congratulations to
those bold individuals who are ushering in this golden era of
virtuous men. They refuse to be slaves to tradition and be puppets
of power-hungry leaders. For many years, our women had to fight for
their freedom. The truth is that our women knew they were slaves to
tradition and began that journey to freedom about 150 years ago in
Pennsylvania, when 300 women and 50 men marched to Seneca Fall to
rewrite the Constitution of the United States. They called this new
constitution the Declaration of Sentiments. Among the signatories of
this document was a noble Black freed slave, Frederick Douglass.
Unfortunately, not many
men have marched since then. Could it be that our women know that
they need to be free, but our men are still unaware of their need to
be liberated? The good news is that this golden era has begun with a
male liberation movement. It is a liberation movement that is
different from that of women’s liberation. Women want and need
freedom from laws that limit their growth and demean their
personhood. On the other hand, men’s liberation is freedom from
internal laws and false value systems.
Dear men, the pathway to
change is going to be long and hard. Do not give up. Do not be
fooled by men’s groups that are rising up to bring support to
traditional men. The truth is that many of these organizations have
started because these men are afraid that "women are taking
control." They are uncomfortable with the economic strength and
political power our women have gained and will continue to gain. On
the other hand, if our women are trying to "take over" then they are
as guilty as the men who do not want to share power. In other words,
virtuous Bahamian men and women believe in partnership, mutual
sharing of power and wealth. Virtuous men are endeavoring to
reinstate the Edenic structure of family dominion over the earth and
not domination over each other. The first is productive. The latter
is counterproductive. Men, let us continue to change. Let’s continue
to be thinkers. Could it be that the future of our nation, the West
Indies, and the world, is dependent on the development of the golden
era of virtuous men?
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What do You think?
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- Is This
the Kind of Man We Want?
-
Celebrating the Year of the Adventist Man in the Bahamas Conference
- "The
Unwanted Virtuous Man" Originally published in 2002
- By
Barrington H. Brennen
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"The virtuous man is firstly spiritually astute. . .Secondly,
the virtuous man is developing himself educationally." |
Question: Dear Sir: A few weeks ago you
wrote about the "Golden Era of Virtuous Men." It was good to know that there
are some men who are noble and wise. However, I am observing that perhaps
the majority of us really do not want virtuous men. If this is true, why is
it so?
Answer: Dear Questioner: Your
observation seems to be correct. Although more men are freeing themselves
from the clutches of traditionalism, yet too many are refusing to change.
Similarly, society seems to glorify the adulterous, drug pusher, womanizer,
aggressive male.
Who is a virtuous man? For the purpose
of this article, I describe the virtuous man as:
- A man who keeps his zipper up when
ordinary men would pull theirs down.
- A man who keeps his brain clean of
mind-altering drugs.
- A man who can wait until he says "I
do" while others say "what’s the heck, let’s show it all now – now
is the hour."
- A man who does not cheat on his wife.
- A man who is not afraid to cry.
- A man who can say I am sorry to the
child he hurts.
- A man who does not allow tradition,
society, or friends to determine his way of life, or the way he
treats women, children, or his male friends.
- A man who is not afraid of being
called a whimp or sissy, even when his friends may laugh at him. A
man who values himself more than how others may commonly think of
him.
- A man who is open and honest at all
times, a man of personal integrity.
- A man who values and respects
womanhood.
Do we really want such virtuous men?
Philosophically, we do. On the other hand, our traditions and language say
no. How do I know that we do not want the virtuous man? Here are a few
reasons:
Men who "go against the grain" and "do not fit
in" to what is considered to be "normal behavior" by their peers are
usually not promoted on the job. It does not matter if they are the most
productive employees, or if they are always on time and respectful to
their superiors. If they do not play the "political games" or join in
the social rondeaux, they are out of the "good old boys club" and their
lives are forever limited. (So they think)
Men who have lots of children for multiple
partners are considered "real men." In fact, we often find ways of
excusing the inordinate sexual behavior of men. A woman who goes around
and flirts with men will most likely be called a "bitch" or "whore." But
a man who can sweet-talk a woman, have sex with whomever he chooses is
"a cool brother."
If a single male executive gets a woman
pregnant, we celebrate. We buy cigars and chocolates for the "good old
boys club." When a single female executive gets pregnant, we fire her or
cry "shame, shame." Virtuous men get nobody pregnant so they cannot join
in the celebration. Most times they would empathize with the hurting
females.
Traditional fathers are free to spend all the
time they want after work with the "good old boys club." They drink
beers and smoke cigars together. They play late-night-dominoes. These
so-called "faithful" fathers and husbands are free to flirt with other
women. They feel that their wives have no right to ask where they’ve
been or what they were doing when they come home after midnight each
night. The "true dad" who goes straight home from work, plays with his
children, talks with his wife, is considered to be a "misfit." In fact
most men feel uncomfortable around him.
Certainly, these are only few of the many ways
I can think of that indicate that society might not be ready for the "golden
era of virtuous men." But we must get ready for this new breed of noble men
because the future of our nation depends on them. Too long have we rewarded
the morally starved, the mediocre, the power-crazed man, the pervert, and
the unfaithful.
There are at least two outstanding ways of
recognizing the virtuous man from the traditional man. The virtuous
man is firstly spiritually astute. He is in a genuine search for his
Creator, Jesus, the One man who was sexually pure all His life, eternally
prayerfully connected to His Father, and deeply engrossed in the written
word --- the Bible. The traditional man laughs at his fellow males who go up
to the altar to surrender all to Jesus, and would not be found reading the
Bible even if the lights are out. Check out our many churches today. Who are
mostly filling the pews?
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"The
virtuous man. . . believes that reading builds a person, and
education is the door to truth and life. He happily seeks ways to
expand his knowledge through either formal post-high school
education or on the job professional development. |
Secondly, the virtuous man is developing
himself educationally. He believes that reading builds a person, and
education is the door to truth and life. He happily seeks ways to expand his
knowledge through either formal post-high school education or on the job
professional development. On the other hand, the traditional man says that
education is for "weak men" or "sissies."
Our nation and the world is hurting for the
need of men who can make a difference, men who are not afraid of being
laughed at. On the other hand, the loud voice of traditionalism seems to be
masking the pain of indifference. Since change is so painful, the chances
that the numbers of virtuous Bahamian men will increase can only depend on
the strength and the stick-to-it-tive-ness of the few who are noble and
pure.
Again I ask, do we really want the virtuous
man? Would we allow him to be himself? Would we allow him to live freely
outside the "box" of rigid traditionalism? Are we willing to change our
concept of what it is to be a man? What type of man will take us
successfully into the new millennium? Is it the traditional man or is it the
virtuous male? Think on these things. To add a little more heat to the
discussion, men take the Bible and read Proverbs 31:10-31 and while reading
change the gender of the passage from feminine to masculine. See how it
makes you feel. Next week my article is entitled "The Unwanted Virtuous
Woman," Reading it might change your life.
- What do
You think?
Barrington H. Brennen
is director of Family Ministries and Adventist Counseling Services for the
Bahamas Conference. He has written more than 600 articles on family
and relationship issues. His articles are published in the Nassau
Guardian, Adventist Review, Renewed and Ready, Asian Beacon, and many
Church papers around the world. He is the founder of Sounds of
Encouragement Association located at
www.soencouragement.org
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